The Ballad of the Mischief Makers
by majorGIT
Summary: One Shot. Musical/play. The Marauders are in detention once again, but this time Lily is with them. They decide to explain their mischevious ways through...song! lol, I know it sounds corny, and believe me, it is. But still, it's a quick read so click!


**Well heres the deal. My mum LOVES John Cougar Mellencamp. Just loves him. So, after drowning me in his music, some of it's grown on me. The Authority song is one of those songs. When I hear it, I am unwillingly reminded of the Marauders. I just cant help it! I always imagine James and Sirius singing it! So, finally, I decided I would get the whole idiotic idea down on paper (well, not _paper_, but you get the picture). Cheesy? Yes. Corny? Definately. Cliche'd? Beyond belief! But alas, I still love it. So here you go! It's written like a play with stage direcions (which I know nothing about, so sorry if it's confusing!). Oh! and now I have 2 disclaimers!**

**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS!**

**I DO NOT OWN THE AUTHORITY SONG OR JOHN MELLENCAMP!**

**k thnx!~**

COMMENCE SCENE:

_It's late afternoon on a Saturday. The corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are empty. Most of the students are in Hogsmede for the day. Others spend their time basking in the shade of large trees outside by the lake, or staying in the cool dormitories. However, a small group of students are not so lucky. The Marauders; James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew, along with Lily Evans are serving detention this afternoon under the watch of Professor McGonagall. _

MCGONAGALL

Alright you five, settle down and be quiet. I have some errands to run for Dumbledore, so I'll be leaving you here for a moment. Do anything, and I'll know. The door will be locked. Now, if you'll please, come up one at a time and drop off your wands.

_They all proceed to drop off their wands on her desk, and she places them all in her cloak's inside pocket before walking out of the room._

LILY

I don't believe this is happening. I never get detention. EVER!

_She looks around in a state of panic. Then resting her eyes on James Potter, here eyes narrow._

He just has to be such an unbelievable jerk.

SIRIUS

Oh Evans, how typical.

LILY

Excuse me?

SIRIUS

Why don't you just face the facts? You're so _obviously_ one of us! You act like such an innocent little girl. But you and I both know that you're going to end up becoming a fellow Marauder and get yourself a badass boyfriend who you can play crazy pranks with. Not to mention, you got _yourself_ in detention.

_He smiles knowingly at her._

LILY

Fat chance, Black. Potter and I are never gonna happen! And I was only doing the right thing! I shouldn't be punished for doing the right thing!

_Enter James, Peter, and Remus_.

SIRIUS

Eh, authority's always out to make a mess of us. You learn to live with it.

LILY

But I'm not against authority! I AM authority! I'm a _Prefect._

REMUS

That doesn't mean a thing Lily. You might be a Prefect, but you're also a naturally good person. Prefects are supposed to enforce the rules no matter what. But-

JAMES

_But_, sometimes there are exceptions to the rules.

REMUS

And when there _are_ exceptions-

SIRIUS

It's our job to break the rules!

JAMES

Even if it means a silly detention!

_Peter nods his agreement, but Lily looks skeptical._

LILY

S'that what you call what you did yesterday? An exception? You think that was _noble_? There was nothing right about what you did.

SIRIUS

There was nothing wrong, either!

JAMES

It was just a little fun!

LILY

Fun!? You stupid grinning prat! You nearly-

JAMES

Like I said. Fun!

LILY

You're unbelievable. You can't go one day without breaking the rules. It's like you purposefully do things just so you can get into trouble.

JAMES

More like, administration purposefully sets rules just to keep us from having fun!

SIRIUS

Really Evans, that's your problem. You need to loosen up!

JAMES

Chill out!

SIRIUS

Hang out!

BOTH

Have fun!

_(Authority Song) Music begins. Remus and Peter push desks out of the center of the room_.

JAMES: "They like to get you in a compromising position

They like to get you there and smile in your face."

SIRIUS: "They think they're so cute when they got you in that condition

Well I think it's a total disgrace!"

[Chorus:]

BOTH: "I fight authority, Authority always wins

I fight authority, Authority always wins!

I been doing it since I was a young kid

I come out grinnin'

I fight authority, Authority always wins"

_A short instrumental interlude. Lily folds her arms._

LILY

_You're_ the one who puts yourself in that position. Authority's not out to get you!

_James shakes his head and continues._

JAMES: "So I call up my preacher (_he goes down on his knees_)

I say 'Give me strength for Round 5.'

He said-"

_Sirius quickly pulls on his long black robes and pretends to hold a bible._

SIRIUS: " You don't need no strength, you need to grow up son!

JAMES: " I said 'Growing up leads to growing old and then to dying

And dying to me don't sound like all that much fun.'

So I say…"

[Chorus:]

BOTH: "I fight authority, Authority always wins

I fight authority, Authority always wins!

I been doing it since I was a young kid

I come out grinnin'

I fight authority, Authority always wins"

_Another musical interlude. Lily seems to be contemplating._

LILY

Growing up doesn't mean you're gonna drop dead James! It's a part of life! You have to do it sooner or later.

JAMES

But Lil's, what's the rush? Who knows how much time we have to enjoy ourselves! What's that sayin' Remus?

REMUS

That would be Carpe Diem, James.

JAMES

Right! Seize the day Evans!

_He spins on his heel and finds one of the desks behind him. He then starts drumming on the desks, followed by Sirius, Remus, and Peter._

JAMES: " Say, Oh No!"

SIRIUS, REMUS, PETER: " No, no, no!"

JAMES: " I say Oh No!"

SIRIUS, REMUS, PETER: " No, no, no!"

JAMES: " Say, Oh No!"

SIRIUS, REMUS, PETER: " No, no, no!"

JAMES: " I fight authority, Authority always wins

I fight authority, Authority always wins!"

ALL: " I been doing it since I was a young kid

I come out grinnin'

I fight authority, Authority always wins"

_Lily smiles in spite of herself, and begins to sing along._

[Chorus:]

ALL: "I fight authority, Authority always wins

I fight authority, Authority always wins!

I been doing it since I was a young kid

I come out grinnin'

I fight authority, Authority always wins"

_They repeat the chorus three more times, and the camera zooms out of the classroom as the music fades_. _The muffled sounds of the Authority Song can be heard from the empty corridor. (Or they could, if anyone was there to hear it.)_

END SCENE.


End file.
